Month: June 2011

If at first you don’t succeed, blame someone else.

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The neighbourhood watch is having a meeting about the creepy guy & I’m the only one not invited.

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People probably wouldn’t think I’m so antisocial if they’d just stop talking to me.

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I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use more calm in our lives. Some doctor on television this morning said that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to…

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A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.  The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.  Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you $800 to drop…

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I believe in sharing the road with other drivers. They can have the part behind me.

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If you photoshop out the wine glasses you’re left with a pic of rich white people flashing gang signs.

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Getting a little sick of these email alerts from my bank implying I’m unbalanced.

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Is it too much to hope that my good cholesterol will be a positive influence on my bad cholesterol?

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