February 2011 – Stump of a Muffin

Money can’t buy happiness…

Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.